Before I get into the meat of the series, I want to add some disclaimers. Many people have a warped view of those who live on “state assistance.” I can’t tell you how many comments I’ve heard about those who “bum off the government.” About giving up your toys, your gadgets, your fancy new cars. About how if you would just work hard, you’ll be able to make ends meet.
Let me tell you, it doesn’t always work that way. I didn’t grow up that way. Growing up, we hardly ever went out to eat- it was a treat that only came once in a while. When we did go, we got the economical meals. No happy meals from McDonalds- all the kids knew that the dollar menu was our limit. Often, we shared a drink- one large drink for all eight kids.
Oh yes, did I mention there were EIGHT of us? Eight kids on a single income that didn’t even bring in that much. Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you the comments I’ve heard on THAT one. Disparaging comments about the number of kids in a family, and how if we didn’t have so many, we wouldn’t need state assistance. Etc, etc, etc.
Let me tell you, I ENJOY every single one of my siblings. I couldn’t imagine life without them. Comments like that… they make me bristle. Just at the idea of not having my wonderful baby brother- you’re stroking the tiger now, just sayin’. (Did I mention I’m one of the oldest? Yeah…. protective big sister, you know.)
So. There’s a lot of really, really rude comments. A lot of misconceptions, a lot of assumptions. A lot of judgement. And quite frankly, it’s annoying. Worse than annoying. So I’m just going to get it out there right now- families on state assistance are doing the best they can. They’re working hard, coming home exhausted, cutting corners, and trying their best to hold on to everything. You’ve never seen “tight-budgeted” until you’ve seen a family attempt to live on less than $30,000 a year. And sometimes that’s the best that they can get.
These are the people I’m speaking to, directly. But I wanted the disclaimer that they’re not being catered to, they’re not bumming. So STOP making them ashamed for who they are. Don’t make them ashamed to pull out that telltale card at the checkout line. For some, it’s enough to swallow their pride and ask for help at all. So… just some understanding– or failing that, silence.